• Prajakt Karanjkar

Guys, Don’t Be Afraid of Friendzone…

Updated: Jan 3

Friendzone is the one word every guy is scared of. No guy likes to get friend-zoned by the girl he likes. But there are always a few unlucky ones, who go through this situation almost every time.

But friend-zoning is not the end of the game if you look at it in the right way. I understand there are expectations in every relationship and when you like a person you expect a few things from him or her. But that’s where the problem lies. Expectations always hurt and it’s the very last form of love.

When a boy and a girl get into a relationship, they go beyond normal friendship. They not only get involved in each other emotionally but make themselves comfortable with each other physically. That’s a typical form of any romantic relationship.

But when the attraction is one-sided and you don’t get what you wish from the girl or boy you like, the whole relationship becomes unrequited. The majority of times these relationships end up with the guy or girl becoming a friend-zoned by their respective partners. Happens with guys many times. Trust me, I have also gone through the same. Multiple times.

It hurts. I used to cry over this “unfortunate” situation of mine. Till I started to look at it in a different way. I think we guys should always look at the whole process of friend-zoning in a positive way. Honestly, it’s the first step towards getting closer to a girl that you like.

Nobody gets “airdropped” into a relationship. It’s a linear process that starts at the origin where two people meet and get comfortable with each other. That process starts with becoming friends. I feel we guys always rush things off a bit and forget to become good friends with girls we like.

You see a girl, you get attracted to her, and in your mind, you create a situation where you just see her as your significant other. Girls, on the other hand, take a much longer time to even think of you as their potential partner. And when you get rejected, it crushes everything off. You go into a depressing mood and take that rejection as a strong jolt to your own self-esteem. Been there, done that.

Sometimes, you just stick to that girl waiting for her to change her decision. And that’s even more terrible. My experience says that girls hardly change their decision. This whole process just breaks you from the inside. Unlike the breakup, where two people separate themselves from each other after spending some quality time, this is just heartbreaking where you don’t even get what you wish for.

But all these things can be avoided by just tweaking your attitude towards interacting with girls. Girl or guy, all want a healthy friendship before taking things to the next level. It’s actually a benefit if you have a platonic relationship with girls which is beneficial to both of you. Always remember, becoming a friend of a girl should always be your first priority.

Let her share things with you which she cannot tell her boyfriend or family members. Let her come to you with all those things which she wants to share with you only. Maintaining that bond and creating a solid friendship is essential before even thinking of anything else.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with confessing your feelings to a person you like. But telling it just for the sake of telling is the job that every roadside Romeo does and girls do get it every now and then. Instead, becoming friends with them without thinking of anything else would bring you closer to them.

Getting friend-zoned is not at all bad. Look at it positively and you’ll see that the person who you like also wants you in their life. Expectations might differ. The form of a relationship might differ. But the thing that the person trusts you more than his or her significant other should be convincing.

Having said that avoid being used in any relationship. There are people who just like others to come behind them and will use you the way they want. Cutting them off your life is the only thing you can do. Nothing — love or friendship — should be one-way traffic. Always be around people who want you and say that quite clearly.

Friend zoning is not at all the end of any one-sided love. You can still be friends and become close to each other. Mutual respect is what everyone should look for when it comes to friendship or romantic relationships.

Recently, I was watching Taj Mahal 1989 on Netflix and I feel that the mini-series perfectly explores this part. There’s a nice quote at the end of the last episode of the series where the makers define love through every character. And one of those quotes says, “ friendship is love”. Now it sounds like a cliche, but it does carry major importance.

In conclusion, look and interact with girls like friends. They will like that more than anything else. Be there when they need you without becoming clingy and they’ll listen to you. Suggest the right ways if they ask for it and always treat them with respect. Trust me, they won’t want you to go out of their lives ever.

At last, don’t be afraid of friendzone. Sometimes it’s okay to embrace it wholeheartedly.

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